(3)


THE SPIDER


1.


omeS adsy I lefe hte psidein
Some days I feel the spider me
alive                    alive     alive

I feel its legs waving on either side of me

But

ZZZZZI
ZZZZZdo
ZZZZZnot
ZZZZZfeel
ZZZZZthe
ZZZZZneed
ZZZZZto
ZZZZZliterally
ZZZZZsuck
ZZZZZthe
ZZZZZlife
ZZZZZout
ZZZZZof

anyone or anything at least not at least not

But

ZZZZZI find myself looking at men
ZZZZZall kinds of men
ZZZZZand imagining myself
ZZZZZkissing their necks
ZZZZZbiting the tips of their noses
ZZZZZbiting their lips
ZZZZZZZZall kinds of men
ZZZZZZZZZZold men
ZZZZZZZZZZfat men
ZZZZZZZZZZugly men
ZZZZZZZZZZstupid men
ZZZZZI imagine myself
ZZZZZkneeling down
ZZZZZand kissing their assholes too
ZZZZZdeeply
ZZZZZdeeply

this would be/I imagine



(Closing my eyes I swallow the world.  I feel terror.  I feel joy.  Outside the snow like ashes falls.  My cock is hard.  My cock is hard.  I squat on naked haunches.  Seeking acceptance I know that I am lost.  The spider is inside me.  I am haunted, I am trapped.  What is need?  What is love?  Disappear walls.  Disappear walls.  I am human.  I am animal.  The room grows dark.  I feel desire, I feel despair.  The spider is hungry.  I am I.  I am not-I.  The spider is Life.  In the darkness I turn my head this way and that.  The animals aren't animals anymore.  Where have I come from?  Where am I going?  Opening my eyes I swallow the world.  My belly tightens, my breathing quickens.  The spider feeds on me.  I snort, I grunt.  I crawl from wall to wall.  I am that I am.  I am free.  I am free.  What is natural?  What is natural?  In the darkness I peer all about me.)



*                         *                         *



2.


At night in bed
in the dark I turn
to no one
I cup my spider arms around you
I hold you in my spider's embrace
I feel a hole between my legs
and in that hole I feel my cock
quivering, pulsating
with energy
with life

At night in bed
in the dark I fuck
myself

ZZZemptiness, nothingness

ZZZI am
ZZZbeyond
ZZZimagination



(In the darkness I turn my head this way and that.  I am human.  I am animal.  The spider is inside me.  Opening my eyes I swallow the world.  The spider is Life.  Where have I come from?  Where am I going?  My cock is hard.  My cock is hard.  My belly tightens, my breathing quickens.  Seeking acceptance I know that I am lost.  The animals aren't animals anymore.  I crawl from wall to wall.  What is need?  What is love?  I am that I am.  I am free.  I am free.  The spider is hungry.  The room grows dark.  Closing my eyes I swallow the world.  I squat on naked haunches.  I feel desire, I feel despair.  Disappear walls.  Disappear walls.  I snort, I grunt.  In the darkness I peer all about me.  I feel terror.  I feel joy.  Outside the snow like ashes falls.  The spider feeds on me.  What is natural?  What is natural?  I am I.  I am not-I.  I am haunted, I am trapped.)



*                         *                         *



3.


I am a spider
You are a spider
We eat with our senses
We fuck with our minds



(Opening my eyes I swallow the world.  I feel desire, I feel despair.  In the darkness I peer all about me.  The room grows dark.  I am haunted, I am trapped.  Outside the snow like ashes falls.  Seeking acceptance I know that I am lost.  What is need?  What is love?  The animals aren't animals anymore.  The spider feeds on me.  Disappear walls.  Disappear walls.  I snort, I grunt.  What is natural?  What is natural?  The spider is Life.  I squat on naked haunches.  I am I.  I am not-I.  My belly tightens, my breathing quickens.  The spider is hungry.  I am human.  I am animal.  In the darkness I turn my head this way and that.  Where have I come from?  Where am I going?  Closing my eyes I swallow the world.  I feel terror.  I feel joy.  My cock is hard.  My cock is hard.  The spider is inside me.  I am that I am.  I am free.  I am free.  I crawl from wall to wall.)



Part Four, (3) Home Part Four, (5)